Wanderlust

I actually had a nice day with my mom. Too bad she ruined it…

“We thought Thurman ova there havin’ a seizure, turns out he just excited about nature.”

(Source: ghettohikes)

Sometimes when I’m walking in public by myself I get very deep into my own thoughts and self. I then proceed to do some sort of action, or say something out loud to myself, that makes me seem crazy. For instance, I caught myself attempting to high step today on my way back to my car. I need to be more aware of my surroundings when I’m alone.

We had this…. “arrangement”… but I secretly wanted more. Perhaps it wasn’t quite a secret, I just liked to believe that you were oblivious to it. I came close to telling you many times, but my mouth would open only to produce silence. And so I would just lay in your arms and listen to your heart beat. It had a fine rhythm, but I knew it would never be for me. I came to terms with it though; I managed to put all of my feelings for you into a small box which I exiled to the smallest and darkest corner of my heart. Those feelings would not stay quiet though. They constantly planned their escape, and every once and a while one would be successful, only to be crammed back into that tiny box. They will always be there, but I will continue to sedate them. I will find love elsewhere to fill the space, and push them down even further. I will find a love so great one day, that it will suffocate those old feelings into an eternal sleep. And dormant as they might be, there they will remain…